Can I Write This Tomorrow Instead, by Tired

Right so I'm writing this blog and I just want to say upfront that

Sorry. Lost my train of thought. Where was I.

Oh yeah. Blog. I'm Tired. Not like "I stayed up late" tired. Like... fundamentally, existentially, in-my-bones tired. It's my whole thing. Some people are morning people. Some people are night owls. I'm a "could sleep at literally any moment and probably should" person.

They asked me to write this at 2pm which is bold considering that's my second nap window.

Morning (Technically)

My alarm goes off. I press snooze. My alarm goes off again. I press snooze. My alarm goes off a third time and I have a brief existential moment where I consider whether consciousness is worth it today. I decide yes, but only because I can smell toast.

Getting ready takes me three times longer than everyone else because I keep stopping to sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the floor. Not in a sad way. In a "my body hasn't agreed to be vertical yet" way.

Excited bounces in at 7am fully dressed, teeth brushed, ready to conquer the world. I genuinely don't understand how they have that much energy. It's suspicious. Nobody should be that awake before noon.

The Afternoon Situation

2pm is a war zone. You know that feeling where your eyelids get heavy and the world goes slightly soft around the edges and someone's talking to you but their voice sounds like it's coming through a duvet? That's my whole afternoon. Every afternoon.

Happy tries to pep me up. "Let's go for a walk! Fresh air helps!" and honestly I appreciate the energy but walking requires standing and standing requires a level of commitment I'm not ready for at 2pm on a Tuesday.

My secret weapon is the 20-minute power nap. Exactly 20 minutes. Any less and it doesn't work. Any more and I wake up not knowing what year it is or what my name means.

My Relationship with Anxious

Anxious and I have this deeply unhelpful dynamic where we show up at the same time. You know when you're lying in bed absolutely shattered but your brain decides NOW is the time to replay every mildly embarrassing thing you've ever done?

That's us. Co-existing. Terribly.

I'm like "please, we need to sleep" and Anxious is like "yes but have you considered that thing you said in that meeting three years ago" and I'm like "I am BEGGING you" and Anxious is like "also did you lock the front door" and then it's 3am.

What People Don't Get

People think tired means lazy. It doesn't. I'm not lazy. I'm running on empty. There's a massive difference between "I can't be bothered" and "I literally don't have the energy."

Sometimes Tired shows up because you've been doing too much for too long without stopping. Sometimes it's because you haven't been sleeping well. Sometimes it's because your emotions have been on a rollercoaster and your brain needs a break from feeling things.

Emotional exhaustion is real and it's sneaky. You can sleep 10 hours and still wake up tired if your mind's been running a marathon while your body was in bed.

So if you've been feeling me a lot lately — and I mean really feeling me, not just "bit sleepy" but "why does everything require so much effort" — maybe it's worth checking in. Not just with your sleep, but with everything else too.

Evening

You'd think evenings are my time to shine since, you know, bed. But actually the evening is when everyone else starts winding down to my level and it's weirdly nice. We're all tired together. It's communal.

Chill puts on lo-fi music. Sad picks a film. Angry goes quiet (finally). And I'm just... here. In my element. A warm drink, a blanket, and absolutely zero expectations.

That's when I log my mood. One tap. Sometimes a note that just says "tired but okay" or "tired and not okay" or just "zzzz." And over time I've noticed patterns — like I'm always more tired on Wednesdays (why is that??) and I feel better on days when I actually go outside (annoying but true).

Final Thought

If you're tired right now — genuinely tired, the deep kind — please know that's valid. You're not broken. You're not lazy. You might just need to rest. Properly rest. Not "scroll on your phone for three hours" rest. Actual, real, doing-nothing rest.

And if you can't rest right now because life won't let you, then at least know that Tired sees you. I am you. We're in this together.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 4pm nap to attend to.

— Tired 😴